tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post6924431974232486509..comments2023-05-09T09:19:22.879-06:00Comments on State of Obvious: Explore or shut the door?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post-70845878618026060722012-03-06T21:32:41.712-07:002012-03-06T21:32:41.712-07:00I liked the description...maybe toned down just a ...I liked the description...maybe toned down just a smidge but would agree with Becky as well, I want to know more about Becky and her mother. Nice work!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13509391706924005345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post-67694869963561429572012-03-04T15:17:07.423-07:002012-03-04T15:17:07.423-07:00Thanks this is just the kind of feedback I am look...Thanks this is just the kind of feedback I am looking for!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04492731241985234445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post-16704404467794689722012-03-04T10:25:58.408-07:002012-03-04T10:25:58.408-07:00I love the descriptions, but it was too much at on...I love the descriptions, but it was too much at once. I usually picture things in my head as I read, but my mind got too clouded to picture it all. Maybe focus on one area of description- outside, or a room of the house- have something happen there, and later in the story describe something else. It was too much for me. But I think you should keep with it. Your writing is really succinct and beautiful.Harmonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14260111850169885961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post-43263735528466979042012-03-03T00:44:35.377-07:002012-03-03T00:44:35.377-07:00Very descriptive! That's a gift. I have troubl...Very descriptive! That's a gift. I have trouble with that, myself. I would have liked to have read some descriptions of Becky or her mother sprinkled in, here and there, as if they were part of the furniture, the decor- but something that would stand out- just because it's the characters who really grab our interest and keep us wanting to read more in any story. :)Rebecca Colsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post-57091882919906887392012-03-02T11:46:33.434-07:002012-03-02T11:46:33.434-07:00That's exactly the kind of feed back I am look...That's exactly the kind of feed back I am looking for, thanks! I actually felt the same way when I reread it, I need to insert some kind of action.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04492731241985234445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10003909.post-41718356247574438142012-03-02T09:17:44.866-07:002012-03-02T09:17:44.866-07:00I got caught up in the description ... And then a ...I got caught up in the description ... And then a little bored. You paint pictures when you write, and there are several lines that are pure genius- but in a story you don't want to reveal everything at once. I would save some of these descriptive parts for a later time. Too much scene-setting will lose your audience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com