State of Obvious

These days I don't feel much like writing.  Which is sort of a lot alarming since it's how I plan to make my living when I'm all done with school.  I mean, what is that?  It's silly, that's what it is.  Did I run out of things to say?  My husband probably would answer that question with a firm NO.  Maybe I have too much to say, but I can't or shouldn't or won't.  So I read this really funny (though a little swear word heavy) book review after our cousin linked it up on facebook.  The thing that made it really funny was the gifs.  Now, I'd link this review but it's not really appopriate for polite company and we're just going to pretend you're all polite.  Sorry.  To make up for it, I'm going to shamelessly steal the gimmick and use it here to update you on all the (you almost care about them) important events of my life from the last couple of months that I haven't been writing about.  First I was having a great summer...

I sometimes wonder what my children will remember when they get old, like me.  Because 35 is just so, so ancient.  You know, compared to 34.  Or 30.  It's kind of a shock, actually, but I'm off track. I used to think I would remember so many things.  The color of my favorite dress, perhaps.  The deserty smell of Tucson (not to be confused with the desserty smell of Thanksgiving pie).  The names of my very best (for the moment) friends.  The little moments of childhood that seemed so large and important. But I don't remember much of it at all.  Little glimpses of the past, so tiny they often feel unreal.  In fact, I don't really even remember the early days of motherhood - Josh's first laugh, for example.  So important at the time, and now lost in the dusty folds of memory.  I remember moments, tiny little moments, and not much else.  I remember feelings, but mostly those feelings are overtaken by the feelings of today....

So. Hi. Yep, still here.  Sort of.  Have you ever had one of those stretches of time where it just all blends into a stream of colors, and you aren't even really sure what you've been doing?  Something like sitting on a merry-go-round and watching the trees turn into streaks of brown and green.  That's my summer. Except, don't forget the part where the merry-go-round comes unhinged and goes bouncing across the lawn while everyone screams.  And when it comes to rest, you stand up and wobble around for a minute before you run over to a bush and ... well, let's not talk about it. I've come to a realization.  Nothing happens the easy way.  Nothing happens while you're just sitting around watching TV.  Nobody rings your doorbell and gives you a thousand-million-trillion dollars.  Your car doesn't magically fix itself.  The roof doesn't seal up that hole its sporting.  Your kids don't get smarter.  Your homework doesn't d...

I got to check out of my life for almost a month. I got to stick my feet and hands in the sand, feeling the joy of small and simple things. I dreamed fantastical dreams, imagining what it would be like to live in those big places with lots and lots of money and very little worry. I got to act silly for absolutely no reason.  Just because it felt good. And dance lightly across the pounding waves. And for a little while, everything was perfect. I highly recommend it. *special thanks to Cha-Cha, Queen of Legos, for the great pictures and letting us visit*

Some days I can't seem to un-grit my teeth.  Do you have that happen?  Every muscle seems to be tensed up, waiting for something to happen, ready to pounce.  I told myself to relax at least five times today - and yes, I was counting.  Because it seemed completely unreasonable, even to me. Here's a funny little update/fact/tidbit/snapshot/thing.  Carly, lately, likes to start sentences with "Mom, I just need to tell you something."  Usually, what she has to say is some kind of explanation.  Like, what she wants to do and why I should let her.  Or, what she thought it would be just fine to do but now she's not so sure.  She has also grown fond of the phrase "Just so you know."  "Mom, just so you know, I didn't do it," or something to that affect.  It's been going on for a good month now.  Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have a lot of cutesy phrases these days.  His phrases are more like sighs.  Or, my favorite,...

Tonight we had to cut your hair.  Three (plus) years of growth all gone with a few snips of the scissors.  You see, you decided to cut a pony tail by yourself, aiming for just the rubber band, but slicing a whole lot more away. It was traumatic, more for me than for you.  Although you were sad for a little while and very worried about the teasing that might follow. It's funny how I'm all wrapped up in you.  When I was little I had crazy curly hair too.  (I still do but that's not really important to the story.)  My mom wouldn't let me grow it out.  It was too messy, too thin, too tangled and mostly just too much.  But, oh how I wanted long, luxurious flowing hair.  (I still do, but that's not important either.)  So here you are, my very own little girl, with hair that grows so slowly and bunches up so tightly it never looks very long.  It can look big, or crazy, or fluffy, but never long.  At least not yet.  I made u...

The answer to every question, every hope, every fear.  All wrapped up in two very different children.  And a spotted dog's backside.