Skip to main content

Speaking of speaking....


This picture is of Joshua a couple of years ago, the outfit is of his own choosing...
So Joshua comes out of his room tonight, after he has only been in bed for 10 minutes or so, and he is crying. "What's the matter?" I ask. "I want to spend more time with my parents," he sobs. Hmm, I wasn't expecting quite that answer. "You always want to go to Gramma's house, honey, so we don't get to spend time with you very much," I reply. "But I don't want to grow up," he cries. "I want to stay with you. I don't want to be 20!"
I was expecting that even less.
It's my own fault - well Eric has a part to play in it too. We keep telling him to slow down, stop growing up so fast, and apparently he is listening a little to carefully. But, how do I explain to my seven year old that growing up is natural and good, while all the time I am thinking that I wish he would never change and that he would stay mine forever? He is so sweet and kind and amazing and frustrating and interesting and silly and funny and bratty and wonderul all rolled up into one! I can't imagine not having him here to tickle and pinch and kiss and hug...and yet I know the time will come when my little bird will be skipping from the nest. Not for a good long while, mind you, but considering how fast seven years has come and gone.......
Motherhood is bittersweet, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Comments

Jennifer said…
He's so sweet. I really miss him. He takes everything so literally and that look he gives you when he is thinking something over, like he's forty in a seven year olds body. Remember not matter where he is and what he does in life - he will always be your boy and you will always be his Mommy. And by hte time he leaves the nest Carly will be a teenager and you may have you hands too full to mourn much! :) Hugs!!!
Sarah said…
Gosh I miss you. When are you coming back?
Oh, I can hope can't I?

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Carly,

I assume that one day you will come to me wanting to know who you are, where you came from, where your other family is and why they gave you to us.  I offer you little bits of information already, but certainly not crumbs enough to satisfy the appetite.  Perhaps it won't matter to you.  I am assuming a lot, already, about how adoption will impact your life.

People often wonder why adoptive parents are hurt when their children seek out biological roots.  I have the answer, and it's very simple.  Adoption - at its core - makes us question the legality, authority, voracity, and validity of parenthood.  For most adoptive parents, first you must come to terms with an issue that strikes at the foundations of mortality: fertility.  From birth, most of us are driven to form families.  First we are nestlings, nurtured and weened and eventually taught to fly.  Then we are nest-builders, filling our lives with the stuff necessary to drive life forward.  Knowledge, safety, money, a sturdy …

On being away from home and turning sixteen: a letter to my son

Dear Josh,

I missed your sixteenth birthday.  I'm sure you recall - or maybe it wasn't so bad because you spent the whole day with your friend watching movies.  Godzilla and Guardians of the Galaxy, you've said.  It's no surprise to me that Godzilla was your favorite of the two.  That atomic green monster holds a special place in your heart.

It was very difficult for me to be away from you when you crossed this threshold in your life.  I remember turning sixteen, being sixteen, and wondering when I would feel like I was actually sixteen.  When I was sixteen, I went and found my first job, I started driving myself around, and I pretty much felt like I was in the wrong skin.  I'm only now, at 37, beginning to feel in the right skin.  Or at least comfortable with the skin I'm in.  But you - well, you don't seem to have a problem being you.  I can't explain how very happy that makes me feel, how very reassured.  Because it can be really hard not to like you…

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

You know when you see someone again and it's been, like, forever, and you're not really even sure that you're getting their name right and you wonder WHAT on EARTH they've done to their hair/face/body/children and you can't quite find the right words to fill the gap between time and space?
My second year of teaching is just beginning - and isn't that a wonder?  Last year...let's just say, we all survived.  Last year involved:
- Commuting home (2 hours, one way) almost every weekend - The kids and I here (in Espanola, where I teach) while Eric stayed in Edgewood - Putting our (still for sale) house on the market - Two semesters of Master's classes (what was I thinking??? on the up side, I only have 1 semester left and I am DONE.  D. O. N. E.) - Saturday's spent in professional development - My first ever "work trip" to San Diego 
And this year:
- Josh is a Senior (whuuuut!) - Carly started 5th grade - We all live here in Espanola (double WH…