Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from February, 2011

And the winner is

The Oscar's were last night.  I watched the first hour before my kids started showing symptoms of withdrawal from lack of cartoons.  A big hub-bub-to-do was made this year about attracting a younger audience.  They hired James Franco (who sucked) and Anne Hathaway (who didn't suck) to host.  I have a few alternatives that are guanranteed to attract that younger-money-spending-culture-obsessed demographic.

1.  Instead of evening gowns, women nominees under the age of 30 are required to wear sequined bikinis.  In place of voting, nominees will endure 4 rounds of mud wrestling, winner takes all.

2.  Only movies that bank more than 100 million dollars can receive nominations of any kind.


3.  Text message voting.

4.  Interactive Wii play, make your favorite celebs follow your commands.

5.  Justin Bieber hands out the awards and a lock of his hair (for that key tween demographic).

6.  John Madden as the commentator.  Boom!

7.  More Johnny Depp.

8.  Instead of the producers accepting…

Review

It was one of those Fridays, you know? 

I was almost late for my first class (I made it with 1 minute to spare).

I almost fell asleep in my third class (I'm not sure how my professor expected me to stay awake while he talked about geometry in space.  I know that other people might find that really exciting, I do not).

I ate a delicious calzone for lunch, but only after spilling a whole pop on the ground (that was fun).

But then it was time to come home.

And now I'm here, in my chair, on the interweb.

And even though it was one of those Fridays, I feel lucky.

How 'bout you?

Served

This evening my children spent about 30 minutes conspiring.  Conspiring is a mostly beautiful sound.  A lot of

"Don't let Mom seeeee!"

"Get one of those!"

"That's what we need!"

instead of the usual "Josh _________ me!" or "CAAARRlllyyYYYY!"

I like it when they make up their own little games, I like it more when it involves a surprise for me.  I wasn't sure what to expect.  Crayon drawings?  "Crafts" (quotation marks are the closest thing to sarcasm font on the market today)?  Edible treats?

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

My children sued me.  As in, an elaborate trial with a briefcase full of evidence, a possible witness in the form of our dog, and Dad as the judge.

I was accused of being unfair.  I took away Josh's TV and video game privileges because he didn't finish his school work by 3pm.  And while I did, and do, find this amusing on many fronts (imagine, if you will, hard core giggling while my 12 year old so…

Cataloging the past

Time moves like wind through the grass, ruffled by moments, sometimes sleeping, sometimes vibrant.

And suddenly, here I am.  I'm 33 until my next birthday.  I've got two kids and a husband.  I'm settled and settling continuously. 

I'm not really sure how that happened.

I've been staring at the faces of my past this afternoon, rifling through moments caught in the snap of a lens.  Some of these people are as familiar as my own shadow.  The moments and memories exist, still, in the corners of reality.  I catch their laugh on my lips, I feel their breath in my hair, I see their dimples on my cheeks.  They are part of me and separate from me all at once.  I search the frozen moments close, taking in the fine details of uplifted smiles and distracted fingers.  I am acutely aware there is someone behind the camera, probably making funny faces, probably exasperated that the children won't look all at the same moment, probably bursting with pride. 

There is familiarity…

Treasures

My grandfather, Bud (mad props if you can tell me who else makes this funny face)


And the love of his life, my grandmother Dorothy.

Also, a photo of my grandfather from WW 2 with an inscription that will make you laugh.


(Bud, You are the guy on the extreme right, what an outfit your wearing, you look like a tramp.  We were sitting on the bank of the Danube waiting for our 4048's to take us to Le Hoore (?).  You look in deep thought, Bud, I bet you were thinking of Dottie or could it be you were regretting separation from the army.  Love and Kisses - Tommy)

Her Father's Daughter

This girl drives me crazy.  She has energy to spare, imagination gone wild, an attention span measurable in nano-seconds, and a deep devotion to her father that goes beyond DNA and runs into the depths of her five year old soul.