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Showing posts from May, 2007


I kinda like being it. I was tagged by llegue

Yourself: Shy
Your Partner: Rock
Your Hair: Crazy
Your Mother: Sentimental
Your Father: Steady
Your Favorite Item: Chocolate
Your Dream Last Night: Short
Your Favorite Drink: Pop
Your Dream Car: Free
Dream Home: Big
The Room You Are In: Kitchen
Your Fear: Death
Where You Want to be in Ten Years: Happy
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Family
You’re Not: Remarkable
One of Your Wish List Items: Books
The Last Thing You Did: Surfed
You Are Wearing: Clothes
Your Favorite Weather: Sunny
Your Favorite Book: Impossible
Last Thing You Ate: Candy
Your Life: Unpredictable
Your Mood: Introspective
Your Best Friend: Safe
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Blogging
Your Car: Yay!
What Are You Doing At The Moment: Typing
Relationship Status: Comfortable
What Is On Your TV: Nothing
What Is The Weather Like: Muggy
When Is The Last Time You Laughed: Earlier

And I'm tagging......All of you! (with blogs)

One month

Its just amazing how quickly the days rolled into a month. Learning to say goodbye seems to make each day feel like a century, and yet it passes by when you take a moment to blink.

I am having a really hard time understanding Josh right now. Most days he's just the same lovely boy he has always been. And then this little back talking, impatient, whiney child takes over his body. And I can't seem to keep my cool. Josh has always been a good kid, obedient and sympathetic, kind and gentle. And he still is, just with an edge of impatience. I must say, its like being cut with a knife when I hear my own words echoing out of his mouth. Common phrases, stolen from me, that drive me insane:
"I don't know"
"Just a minute"
"I'm commmming!"
"Just let me finish"
"I know"

I can't wait for summer, no more homework, no more waking up early. Easy time. I think I hate Josh's school as much as he does, if not more.

And so it goes

Memories bump up against you in the most unexpected ways. I am getting used to going over to mom's house and having her be absent. Part of that is just removing the material things: the dishes we ate Christmas dinner on that are living in my cupboard now; the candy dishes and serving plates and decorative mugs; the candles and candle holders. These are her physical things - they speak of her but can only paint a partial picture. Sometimes I look up to where her treasures now live at my house and I am amazed that they are there. Sometimes I don't even notice them. Today, sitting in traffic on my way to pick up Dad at the doctor's office, it came to me suddenly - again - that she wasn't there. I can't call her. I can't see her, smell her, hug her, share a laugh over her boys. And it was fresh again. It's almost been a month and I still don't believe it. Maybe I won't believe it? I look at some of these material things and think that her hands touched …


Carly, originally uploaded by jtedst. Untamed curls of black
Skin the color of nightfall
She gleams like a star

This is my post for the weekly theme over at
I just thought it was a fun idea

You learn something new every day...if you try

Thanks to llegue, I now know what an EMO is. I didn't even know it was a thing but apparently its the rock 'n roll crowd of the new generation. Its the cool kids...

I admit, I kinda like the emo style - well some of it. According to wikipedia, emo fashion includes tight fitting jeans and band shirts, studded belts. Stuff that I doubt I would have had the guts to pull off when I was a angst ridden teenager. My style now tends to be whats on sale and fits. What I'd really like to wear is a different story - but I lack the money to fund such a wardrobe and the body to carry it off.
So for today, I'll be satisfied with knowing what an emo is, and I won't punish myself for being out of touch since I did notice the trends I just didn't realize they had a name.

Mother's Day was overall nice, good weather and a day spent together. There were ups and downs and Eric in particular had a "oh well this sucks" kinda moment. I must admit that watching someone you l…

Before I go to bed...

Hi Mom! Thank you for being thoughtful and sweet and calling to check on me. You may think it doesn't matter to me, but it does.

May 15th is a GAS OUT! So, fill up your tanks BEFORE that day and DO NOT buy gas on May 15. Why? Because we don't want to pay $4 a gallon! $3 is already too high! Gas companies are making record profits each year. What does that tell us? The supply of gas is not low, the greed of gas companies is just plain ol' high! The American people as a whole have one thing on their side: buying power. Flex your muscles people! Just avoiding the pump for that one day will cost the gas companies millions of dollars. USE YOUR POWER TO CREATE CHANGE!

And finally: recent pictures of the kids. Thanks to Mr Cha Cha Head, official photographer. These were taken on our trip to Frankenmuth.

You can't stop the world from revolving

The funeral for mom was last night. It was ... hard. The good thing - if there has to be an up side - is that it was filled with all the people mom loved. I volunteered myself to give a eulogy! Gah! I am not fond of public speaking, but I wanted to do it. I don't know why, I think I wanted to represent the family or something. I wanted to express my love and gratitude to have been in her life.
Dad is holding up, its moment by moment. But its awful to see him so sad. He is staying with us, has been since Sunday; we told him to stay forever. Eric, Dad and I all feel like this is the right place for him and we don't want him to be alone. At first it may sound like we are doing this for him, but its for us too. Having him here has brought us a lot of comfort. He and Josh are sharing a room...I know, I know! But its what he wants. We have offered him his own room at least fifty times, he wants to "bunk with Josh". We are going through the difficult process …