An experiment
Be warned, this is quite a long post. However, faithful and/or random reader, I would love to hear your feedback on this particular post. The following is an excerpt that I'd like to have opinions on. So read on, reader, and then post a reply. kkthxbye The moons had already begun to rise; blood red Haldorian, Manvey with its silver rings, and the smallest, Looz, the color of flesh. Tamyrn unwrapped the scarf from around her face and began to clean the sand from her eyes. The harsh winds not only made travel arduous, but caused the sand to stick to her eyes like mud. Even after she had wiped it away, she could still feel the hard grit in her eyes. Her hair and clothes seemed to be infested, her hands worn smooth by the constant thrash of the sand against them. Her father, Damian, was already issuing orders in a steady stream. He was not a tall man, but strongly built with a powerful voice and manner. His eyes were metallic blue, and they flashed and sparked when he was angry. Si