An experiment

Be warned, this is quite a long post. However, faithful and/or random reader, I would love to hear your feedback on this particular post. The following is an excerpt that I'd like to have opinions on. So read on, reader, and then post a reply. kkthxbye


The moons had already begun to rise; blood red Haldorian, Manvey with its silver rings, and the smallest, Looz, the color of flesh.
Tamyrn unwrapped the scarf from around her face and began to clean the sand from her eyes. The harsh winds not only made travel arduous, but caused the sand to stick to her eyes like mud. Even after she had wiped it away, she could still feel the hard grit in her eyes. Her hair and clothes seemed to be infested, her hands worn smooth by the constant thrash of the sand against them.
Her father, Damian, was already issuing orders in a steady stream. He was not a tall man, but strongly built with a powerful voice and manner. His eyes were metallic blue, and they flashed and sparked when he was angry. Similarly they danced when he was satisfied and happy. His hair was gray, flecked with black, and he was made strong by years of work and success. For as long as Tamyrn could remember he had worn a thick, black beard. He commanded his household with a kind of raw grace, moving easily from task to task without rushing. Tamyrn had become so accustomed to the sound of her father that she hardly noticed what he was saying anymore. His commands were familiar and soothing - much like the song of a bee among flowers. The servants moved quickly, pitching tents and gathering the horses together. A group of especially burly and intense guards were taking their positions around the herds, watching for dragons, raiders, and any other dangers. A quiet night would be expected so deep into the desert, but Damian never took chances.
Sitting down at the base of a large palm tree, Tamyrn watched her sister, Alorian, as she took a long cooling drink from her pouch. Alorian was striking in her beauty with olive skin and a shock of red hair that fell to her knees when it was unbound. Her eyes were deepest gray steel, and her personality was suitably matched. Alorian could be at times cool and smooth, then change quickly to hard and unbending. Tamyrn kept watching as Damian came to his eldest daughter and they began almost immediately to argue.
It was an old argument. Alorian was 26 and unmarried despite being one of the most sought after women in the region. Her father was wealthy, her mother respected, and Alorian was a valuable commodity. Damian had been approached by 12 men, each requesting a union with Alorian. Each had offered a handsome price, but Alorian had refused each one in turn and threatened to run away if forced into marriage. Damian had tried every trick and persuasion he knew. Lately he had resorted to insufferable pestering, but still Alorian would not be swayed.
By now, their argument had become heated enough for Alorian’s words to carry through the camp. "I’ve never even met that fool of a man!"
"Your mother never met me either, Ria, and we’re perfectly suited. What are you waiting for?"
"I’m not Mother, and I’m not marrying you. I’ll know him when he comes - if he comes. I won’t marry some nit wit just because YOU want to be rid of me!"
"You know that’s not true! I love my daughters, I just want to make sure..."
Their voices drifted away as they went into Alorian’s tent together.
Behind her, Tamyrn heard a stifled grunt. She turned, surprised, and found a man she didn’t know standing beside the tree.
"Nit wit!" the man muttered. "Such insults - I’m probably lucky she said no!" Then suddenly he noticed Tamyrn. "Oh - uh, sorry. I didn’t see you there," he seemed flustered and began to back away.
"No, really, it’s all right. You must be Vardos. I heard you were coming. It’s rather unfortunate you had to hear my sister go on so rudely. She really has no manners - you probably are better off without her!" Tamyrn smiled wryly, but her voice held no malice.
"I am Vardos," the man nodded, still embarrassed. "If Alorian is your sister, then you must be Tamyrn. I didn’t even see you sitting there, you were so still and quiet. Your beauty rivals that of your sister - no mere feat."
Tamyrn blushed, feeling as if every day of her sixteen years must be showing on her face. "I’m hardly a candle to Alorian’s flame - or so it’s been said. You flatter me unjustly."
"It’s hard to see a candle when there is a roaring fire, but the candle still burns. I don’t mean to embarrass you," he added quickly as Tamyrn’s cheeks turned from pink to red.
"Ah, but you have anyhow. I’m not used to such pretty words. When did you join our group?"
"Just today, I caught up to you in the early afternoon and I’ve been riding in the back with your father. Negotiating - but all for nothing I can tell already. I suppose I’ll be rejected suitor number 13!" Vardos laughed, full and with humor reflecting in his eyes. Tamyrn couldn’t help but join in with the genuine sentiment.
"If it makes you feel better, Alorian is stubborn and she’s never actually called any of the other’s both a fool and a nit wit."
Vardos laughed again and touched her arm lightly. "It does make me feel better," he said. "It’s been a true privilege to meet you, Tamyrn."
"And you," she replied as he moved away in long, easy strides. She wondered, after he had gone, why her arm burned and there were imprints of his fingertips where he had touched her.

The air was icily crisp and as black as ink. The moons, despite their vivid color, gave off very little light and the stars seemed to pop against the sky. The wind hardly moved, only a whisper across glimmering sands. The trees, stirred by the gentle touch of the breeze, murmured and swayed creating a subtle swishing melody. Through the darkness moved a burst of fluid, warm air and the sound of moving wings. Tamyrn, sitting on the cool sand, turned just as a dragon circled down and dipped the tips of its wings into the sand, creating a shower of shimmering pebbles. A burst of flame issued from the dragon’s wide, reptilian mouth then dissipated into the coolness of the night sky. The dragon rose again, sailing smoothly in an easy circle, its iridescent green scales flashing in the starlight. It turned and began another slow descent then tucked in its massive wings so that it came with amazing speed straight toward Tamyrn. She couldn’t move, she was frozen in fear and awe, and she could feel the fire emanating from the dragon’s massive body. The dragon opened great yawning jaws, teeth like razors flashed, and a forked purple tongue tasted the air. It was coming for her, it would kill her. Then, just as it came close enough to strike, Tamyrn woke from her dream.
The night was indeed icily still, although Tamyrn’s bed linens were drenched with sweat. She blinked, realizing she had only been dreaming, and clutched the linens around her. Her hands were shaking, her breathing was quick and hard.
"Calm down," she whispered to herself. "It was only a dream."
As her eyes became acclimated to the dark, she observed that her quick awakening hadn’t disturbed her handmaid, Malta. Quietly she slipped out from the bed and went to wash her face with water from the pitcher at the foot of the bed. Moving silently, she began to notice that the air itself was too still. Normally there would be sounds of bleating sheep and guards shuffling. Even Malta’s breathing was too quiet. Tamyrn moved slowly to Malta’s bed, the hair on her neck prickling uncomfortably. Malta was very still, lying on her stomach with her black hair spread out like a strange halo.
"Malta," Tamyrn whispered, her voice quavering. Malta did not respond.
Tamyrn shook Malta’s shoulder and felt warm stickiness cover her hand. She moved her hand close to her face so she could see it in the darkness. It was covered in blood. Malta’s blood.
Tamyrn felt a scream rising in her throat. She stumbled to the door of her tent and was just about to call for the guards when a strong arm slipped around her neck and covered her mouth. She struggled, though she was no match for the burning grip.
"Be still," came a whisper, the voice strangely familiar. "I won’t hurt you."
She struggled harder, trying to bite the hand, but he merely pulled her close to him, lifting her off her feet.
"Tamyrn, stop. Be still. It won’t be long before they’re back for you and we’ve got to get out of here."
Tamyrn felt the fear churning within her, violent and crude. Bile was rising in her throat. She kicked her legs, trying hard to get away from her captor.
"Tamyrn," he whispered urgently, pulling her away from the tent flap and into the shadows. "It’s Vardos! Now be still, child, or we’ll never make it out of here alive!"
Still unsure, but trusting the urgency in his voice, Tamyrn let him lead her under the leather wall of the tent and into a night that was still as death.
Vardos slipped his way stealthily through the camp, his boots hardly made a whisper as he crossed the sand and made for a line of trees. Once protected deep in their shadows, he released Tamyrn from his burning grip.
"I don’t understand what’s happening," she whispered, facing him with pent up energy and panic.
"I know you don’t, but there’s not much time to explain. We’ll have to get moving and keep moving. Once they discover you’re gone, we won’t have much time to get some distance between us." Vardos peered through the dense trees, concern knitting his golden brow.
"What about my family? Are they safe?" Tamyrn asked, unable to hide the quiver in her voice.
"I don’t know," Vardos returned slowly. He turned and locked eyes with her. "I’m not entirely sure what’s happening, there something beyond our control moving around in that camp. All I know is that you’ll have to trust me, Tamyrn, or we’ll both die out here with only birds to find our bones. Do you trust me?"
She was afraid of his words, of the honesty she saw in his amber eyes, but she trusted him. "Yes," she answered quietly.
He slipped his hand into hers and she felt a burning warmth where their skin met. "You’ll have to stay close. Don’t let go of me, you won’t be able to find me in the dark."
Tamyrn nodded, gripping his hand tightly. She felt strangely like a small child as he began to pick his way quickly through the bramble that lined the ground.
At first she was intent on keeping up with Vardos; he moved quickly, sure and steady, and hardly paused to search for a way through the trees. Though they had appeared to be only a small stand, the trees proved thick and in many places the branches twisted together so that Vardos had to cut his way through. Tamyrn noticed that Vardos moved silently still, his feet didn’t even catch the stray twigs and when he cut through the trees they seemed to break away noiselessly. She hardly had time to think on it, though, for he seemed to be increasing his speed as time wore on. She began to notice, too, her lack of sandals. The brush and branches began to cut into her bare feet and legs. Her feet were sore and she was sure they were bleeding. She been wearing only a long cotton robe, and the bottom was soon shredded by the rough undergrowth. Her breath started coming more quickly, bursts of vapor that vanished into the chilly night air. She hardly noticed the cold, however, because they were moving so quickly. The burn of Vardos’ grip where their hands met was constant, though not painful.
They came at last to a wide clearing of sand that lead to a steep drop into a canyon. The light of the moons made strange shadows were the ground began to shear away. Vardos paused here, dropping Tamyrn’s hand and giving her a moment to catch her breath.
"We’ll make our way down into the canyon. We should have more protection there, and we won’t have to move quite so quickly. How are you holding up?"
"I’m okay," she replied, but the words were gasps. She was breathing hard, and now that he had released her hand she seemed to feel the cold and exertion more distinctly.
"We will have to move even more quickly across that clearing," he said, watching her closely. "Can you do it?"
"I don’t think we’re being followed," she answered, looking over her shoulder.
"It’s more than men on foot we’re running from," Vardos said, his voice heavy. "Once we go out of the tree cover, we’ll be easy to spot from above."
"From above?" Tamyrn wondered. "Surely you don’t think ther-"
"Listen, Tamyrn. Be perfectly still, try not to breath."
Obediently she held her breath, her eyes searching the sky, her senses stretching into the night. She heard a sound like gusting wind and felt the warm burst of air travel over her.
"Dragons," she whispered.
Vardos nodded silently, his eyes scanning her face in the darkness.
She waited, searching the sky for a glimpse of flashing scales.
"You won’t see them, they’re not close enough yet," Vardos said, reading her thoughts. "Once we move out of the trees, though, they’ll spot us easily if we don’t make haste."
"How far away are they?"
"Hard to tell, they move so quickly it could be a few feet or a few leagues. Have you caught your breath?"
"I think so."
Vardos took her hand again and she felt instantly warmer and stronger. "Stay close," he said, meeting her fearful eyes.
"Vardos, I’m afraid," her voice was barely a whisper but it carried all the emotion of a scream.
"I know. Just stay close," he answered gently and pulled her into the clearing.
Once out from under the cover of the trees, Tamyrn felt a distinct sense of panic welling up. It seemed to begin in her feet, filling her up until she felt as if it would burst from her skin. Vardos was moving more quickly than she though possible, she was much like the tail of a kite trailing behind him at his mercy. The space from the trees to the drop off was closing quickly beneath them, moments melting away into the night sky.
Suddenly Vardos was pressing her harder, breaking the strange silence of his movement by prompting her along.
"Come on, Tamyrn, almost there," his deep voice seemed to wash over her, passing between them where their hands joined together. "Faster," he urged and she felt her whole body straining to keep his pace.
Just as quickly she felt the presence of the dragon and without looking she could feel the beast swooping toward her through the night sky. Just as in her dream, the dragon’s scales glinted in the shadowy light as it came coursing through the sky on a collision course with Tamyrn. Vardos was pulling her so hard now that she thought her hand would break away from her body. Fear was pounding in her ears, a thunderous sound that seemed to flow through her veins.
Then, without thinking, she pulled up short and turned to face the massive, charging beast. It was moving quickly, its leathery wings cutting through the night air, its mouth open and menacing, its feet and massive glinting claws tucked against its body.
Tamyrn planted her feet and with her arms raised pulled all the power and fear from her body into her hands. With a great burst of energy, an orb of blue light appeared, engulfing her. It pulsed in the darkness, shimmering as Tamyrn focused all her strength. She braced herself and threw the energy, one great howling shot of light that coursed through the night sky and smashed into the dragon. The ball burst, scattering blue light across the sullen sky. The dragon, eyes rolling, fell beneath the force of the energy and lay limply on the sandy ground. Its black eyes stared into the night, its heart lay still and dead under its scaly chest.
Tamyrn, watching in shocked stillness, felt quite suddenly that she was going to fall. Then Vardos was there, pulling her and finally lifting her as her legs went limp beneath her. She felt his fluid, powerful movements as he ran; and then all was black and still.