It is the very simple things that make Carly happy:
Loading the dvd player
Wearing a pretty dress - especially the shiny Sunday dresses on a non-Sunday
Anything Princess related - no matter how small the relation
Flushing a spider down the toilet (declaring afterward "Aww I lub him!)
Raiding the M&M jar
Mommy's jewelry box
It's the singing in particular that tickles me today. This morning - ok so it was more like afternoon - as I lay in bed trying to convince myself the nap was over, Carly played with mommy's doll, twirled and sang in Carly's way:
"A B C H I B L M N O Q R ESSS B V B Y and Z!"
"Light la la Closet Door Light Aaaaaa Window"
"I'm a little teapot, short and short, little pot short"
I often times wonder if Carly would sing if things were different, if we didn't have her, if her birth mother had kept her. Would she be changed? Would the glorious, adventurous, precocious child that echoes her Grandma Annie's personality so effortlessly be anything less? Or more? I suppose the very fact that she is so much like Grandma Annie points to her belonging here.
But that doesn't mean I stop thinking about it. I sometimes shudder thinking what might have been. I am trying to be more grateful for what is.
And I will sing.