Let that be a lesson to you

Dear Self,

Be glad your fiction doesn't have a following. (For the record, I really truly in my heart of hearts wish it had a following. And I wish I made tons of money off of it so I wouldn't have to borrow money or sweat bullets when it's not yet payday. But apparently I don't wish it so much to sit down and force myself to write for an hour a day yet. But it's almost to that point. Almost.)

You will in fact get an eye infection in your other eye if you continue to use old contacts and are frequently too lazy to take them out at night. (Maybe bloodshot eyes will make me look mysterious. Probably more like drugged, but a girl can hope.)

If the dog ran downstairs really fast and didn't come back when you called her, that's probably bad. (And smelly.)

When the spelling word list for the week looks too advanced it probably is. The solution IS NOT to study for it only on the night before, but rather to study all week long. (You know, for the future.)

You're going to feel really goofy when you try Annie's child psychology, and your son (who is 10, not 5 - take note) might get mad at you and think you are making fun of him. But don't despair, eventually you will feel happy and goofy and your son will smile and join in the happy dance. And that does feel better than yelling. Later when he sits on your lap (and crushes you - he's huge!) you can whisper in his ear that you're trying really hard not to yell and you need his help and he'll nod and lace his fingers with yours and let you smother his sweet soft cheek with kisses. (Making the goofiness all worth it.)

Your couch cushion is shreadable, and the dog likes to chew things. (Perhaps it is time to look more seriously into that slipcover.)

Putting off the dreaded homework so that Josh can go out with the neighborhood kids and slide down the little snowy hill on a borrowed sled is totally worth it. (And he'll get most of his homework done on his own as payback.)

Love,
Your Self.

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