Monday, January 19


Come closer.

Lil' more.

A little too close.


Are you awake? I am, but soon I won't be (hopefully).

I've got a lot on my mind. It's all swirling around in there like a word tornado, crashing and mixing together, causing total destruction.

Yesterday was a memorial service in Tucson for my Grandparents, a small gathering of family and friends to honor two amazing people. I missed it.

Tomorrow is inauguration day. I am sure there will be a billion blogs talking all about it, summing it and recapping it and jotting it down in the backlog of history. I can't help but wonder how high the pedestal will have to get before it tips. I can't help but wonder if there is going to be a colossal fall when the history recedes and the reality sets in. I remain cautiously hopeful. I worry about some of the things President Obama plans to do. I wonder how our country will change in the coming years. I wonder if I will change with it.

Today. That's what matters. What did I do today?

I stayed off Dr Pepper. I am still thinking about it, I still do want some, but so far the craving is not overwhelming. Just present. I feel like it's doable. Encouragement from friends was extremely helpful and uplifting. Thank you.

I got out of bed late. Eric had the day off, so did Joshua. I listened to some rip off artists workers remove the ice and snow from our roof. I yelled at Carly and Eric. I think Josh dodged the yelling bullet but just barely. He just got stern words and eyebrows. We had family home evening and felt better.

I took a pregnancy test. Still negative. I'm a sucker for punishment, what can I say? I just wanted to be sure. You know, broken girl body and all.

I watched a soap opera. Yes, I know they're lame and silly and ridiculous but it's 2 am and the alternatives are limited. This one had a plot line dealing with organ donation. I felt all tight chested and teary eyed watching the unrealistic story unfold. I thought about the anonymous person that gave us 5 more years with Eric's Mom as their final act. I thought about their family, and wondered how they are. I thought about what I would do if I lost my own child or husband. I felt sad.

I blogged.

I posted a link to a site that can help you become an organ donor.

I felt better.

And now I'm going to bed.

1 comment:

Heather said...

You were busy...