Friday, May 29

Dear Celebrities

in particular Britney Spears, because you're the one I just saw in a picture online

STOP SMOKING!

My kids are watching you! Heck, I am watching you! Spend a little bit of that money on, I dunno, maybe a nicotine patch? You are destroying your million dollar face with every puff. You are wrecking your very rich lungs, you smell gross (I'm guessing), and someday it will KILL YOU. Like, literally. I am sure, very sure, that 15 years with Eric's Mom literally went up in smoke. And that just isn't fair.

So, stop it. Please.

Sincerely,

Me

p.s. Looking at a whole bunch of old photos when you are at home alone is not a good idea. Especially when those photos contain images of your dearly missed Mother-in-Law, Grandmother, Father-in-Law, Uncle and youth. Just a heads up.

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