Woman Speak

-
When she says...

Fine

What it really means is

It's not fine, it's anything but fine, I'm kinda mad in a not fine way, and I am irritated in a not fine way.

When she says...

We don't have to.

What it really means is

You did not react with enough enthusiasm and so I don't want to do it anymore and if you make me do it I'm going to be even more unhappy now.

When she says...

Would you like to ______________?

What she means is

I need you.  

When she says...

Don't get me anything

What she means is

Please make it sparkley.

When she says...

It will just take a few minutes

What she means is

It will take a few of my minutes.  One of my minutes is roughly equivelant to 10 of yours.  So it should take about 30 minutes not including transportation time/they put something new out time/sale time/ran into a friend time.

When she says...

I don't need anything

What she means is

I need you and everything else is bonus.  But I do like chocolate.

When she says...

I'm not mad

What she means is

I am mad but I'm trying to pretend like I'm better than you.

When she says...

I love you

What she means is

Thank you for understanding/needing/wanting/loving/helping/being with me.  Please don't go away.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hmm- sounds like "woman speak" is a lot like opposite day, except with opposite day we have to declare that it is ongoing to all participants (and there are of course time outs for important times like driving and prayers!).

Perhaps there should be less woman talk, and more Katie talk - she would never beat around the bush on what she meant or wanted from the GAP :)
4:28 PM
Sarah said…
You are so right! Katie's definitely speak their mind, especially when it comes to the GAP!
5:08 PM
Harmony said…
ha ha ha! I think I might print off this post for my husband! It proves the point that men think we're all too complicated...
10:56 PM
Heather said…
Amazingly accurate... I love it.
10:33 AM
That Girl said…
I think I'm emailing this to everyone I know.
3:39 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Carly,

-
Image
I assume that one day you will come to me wanting to know who you are, where you came from, where your other family is and why they gave you to us.  I offer you little bits of information already, but certainly not crumbs enough to satisfy the appetite.  Perhaps it won't matter to you.  I am assuming a lot, already, about how adoption will impact your life. People often wonder why adoptive parents are hurt when their children seek out biological roots.  I have the answer, and it's very simple.  Adoption - at its core - makes us question the legality, authority, voracity, and validity of parenthood.  For most adoptive parents, first you must come to terms with an issue that strikes at the foundations of mortality: fertility.  From birth, most of us are driven to form families.  First we are nestlings, nurtured and weened and eventually taught to fly.  Then we are nest-builders, filling our lives with the stuff necessary to drive life forward.  Knowledge, safety, money, a stur
Read more

M is for Mother

-
Motherhood is more than carrying a child in your womb for 9 months. Motherhood is more than daily wiping of noses, cleaning of faces, filling of bellies. Motherhood is more than driving, shopping, cleaning, cooking. Motherhood is part of being a Woman, but not all of it. It is part of growing up, for some of us. It is conducive to gaining appreciation, but not for everyone. I was still a child myself, really, when I became a Mother. Joshua and I did a lot of growing up together. We both learned a lot about sacrifice. I learned how to say good-bye to him in the morning, he learned that separation from Mother wasn't such a bad thing after all. Especially since he got to go to Grandma's house (which, sorry Disney, was the happiest place on earth). I learned I could love someone until my heart might burst and be completely enraged at the same time. He learned that the wrinkling of my forehead was not a good sign for anyone. We learned a lot about time, more specifically abo
Read more

And I didn't prepare a speech!

-
Image
My first, and probably only, blogger award! Yay! Thanks to That Girl in Brazil, not only uber cute but uber sweet. I'm supposed to pass on the love to other bloggers by linking them and then posting in their comments. But, seriously, how much more ad space do you guys need? Ok, ok, fine. I pick Mary cause she totally posted her flip flops. And justRandi cause she said she'd come to my house if I sent her an invite. And llegue because she made reference to a certain male body part while shopping in Wal-Mart, plus she beats me at games. and Heather because she makes me giggle and she comments even when my posts are lame. Just passin the <3 I feel super guilty for not linking everybody. But, you wouldn't be on my blog roll if I didn't think you were super cool.
Read more