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Woman Speak

When she says...

Fine

What it really means is

It's not fine, it's anything but fine, I'm kinda mad in a not fine way, and I am irritated in a not fine way.

When she says...

We don't have to.

What it really means is

You did not react with enough enthusiasm and so I don't want to do it anymore and if you make me do it I'm going to be even more unhappy now.

When she says...

Would you like to ______________?

What she means is

I need you.  

When she says...

Don't get me anything

What she means is

Please make it sparkley.

When she says...

It will just take a few minutes

What she means is

It will take a few of my minutes.  One of my minutes is roughly equivelant to 10 of yours.  So it should take about 30 minutes not including transportation time/they put something new out time/sale time/ran into a friend time.

When she says...

I don't need anything

What she means is

I need you and everything else is bonus.  But I do like chocolate.

When she says...

I'm not mad

What she means is

I am mad but I'm trying to pretend like I'm better than you.

When she says...

I love you

What she means is

Thank you for understanding/needing/wanting/loving/helping/being with me.  Please don't go away.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hmm- sounds like "woman speak" is a lot like opposite day, except with opposite day we have to declare that it is ongoing to all participants (and there are of course time outs for important times like driving and prayers!).

Perhaps there should be less woman talk, and more Katie talk - she would never beat around the bush on what she meant or wanted from the GAP :)
Sarah said…
You are so right! Katie's definitely speak their mind, especially when it comes to the GAP!
Harmony said…
ha ha ha! I think I might print off this post for my husband! It proves the point that men think we're all too complicated...
Heather said…
Amazingly accurate... I love it.
That Girl said…
I think I'm emailing this to everyone I know.

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