I'm not sure if you've heard, but pretty soon it will be Valentine's Day. You know, the shameless excuse of a holiday wherein we exchange mostly edible or sparkly gifts? While I was driving around in the car, an ad came on the radio for said holiday. It was for Laser Hair Removal.
I just want to warn you, up front, that if my made-up-holiday gift is for Laser Hair Removal or weight loss or any other service that points to how not sexy/hot/pretty/cute I am, you will most likely have a very cold-shoulder lonely Valentine's night.
I'm pretty sure you knew that, but I wanted to cover my bases.