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There are times

when I look around my little world and think

OH CRAP.

How did I get here?  This is not the direction I was pointing myself to go.  I had

PLANS.

Big plans.

College.  Law school.  Novels.  Money.  Style.  Class.

I was going to change the world, one word at a time.

Somehow I ended up washing faces.  And bottoms.  And floors.  And windows.  Dusting shelves and wiping counter-tops.    Somehow the highlight of my day turned into shopping at the thrift store.  (I bought 3 one dollar records on Monday: Glen Miller, Camelot, and South Pacific.  Yes, records.)

I've discovered that I have a lack of bankable skills.  Which is ironic since I used to be a teller.  For five years.  But apparently that wasn't enough for a local bank to hire me as a teller.  {boggle}  And I have discovered that being at home for five years is akin to never working at all.  I'm very discouraged because I really need a job right now.  Yesterday right now.

The disturbing realities of life keep butting up against my very hard head.  The pull to do more, be more, buy less, whine less, provide more, teach more, learn more is stretching me so far I'm practically Gumby.  Maybe when I get around to an actual real hair cut, I'll have it dyed blue too.  It'll help hide the gray hair that keeps coming back.

Comments

Betina said…
Man... I hear ya sista! Learn how to knit. Really, it keeps me feeling productive.

Thanks for the Battle boats idea. We are TOTALLY going to try that. Anything to help with fine motor control is really helpful. It will also be a good church game, I am sure.

Carly is getting so big. Ivy is wearing her dresses now. Thanks again SOOO much.

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