Monday, February 28

And the winner is

The Oscar's were last night.  I watched the first hour before my kids started showing symptoms of withdrawal from lack of cartoons.  A big hub-bub-to-do was made this year about attracting a younger audience.  They hired James Franco (who sucked) and Anne Hathaway (who didn't suck) to host.  I have a few alternatives that are guanranteed to attract that younger-money-spending-culture-obsessed demographic.

1.  Instead of evening gowns, women nominees under the age of 30 are required to wear sequined bikinis.  In place of voting, nominees will endure 4 rounds of mud wrestling, winner takes all.

2.  Only movies that bank more than 100 million dollars can receive nominations of any kind.

3.  Text message voting.

4.  Interactive Wii play, make your favorite celebs follow your commands.

5.  Justin Bieber hands out the awards and a lock of his hair (for that key tween demographic).

6.  John Madden as the commentator.  Boom!

7.  More Johnny Depp.

8.  Instead of the producers accepting the Oscar for the best picture, the hunkiest male lead must accept the award shirtless.

9.  A gong for lame and/or extra long speeches.

10.  More pyrotechnics.

4 comments: said...

You are simply brilliant...too brilliant for Hollywood I'm afraid.

Sarah said...

Perhaps but that is probably not setting the bar very high.

Julie Wiens said...

I am a huge Oscars fan and I have to admit that it was pretty aweful this year. However, I thought you would enjoy this article that talks a little bit about how smart some in Hollywood actually are:

Sarah said...

Some of those I knew about, some I didn't. What is most interesting to note, the actresses named aren't famous for taking their clothes off...just sayin.