State of Obvious

I find myself wishing it was all so much easier I see people that seem to skip through life on tip toe, and smiling And I wonder how they do it What's the secret Why can't I learn it. I've gotten good at making mistakes Repeat, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat The rhythm of falling so familiar that I don't feel right without it Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat, repeat Stepping back from the brink of disaster is a much harder tune to play. Have you ever been fed up with yourself with your choices with your stumbling with your failing So fed up that the good things seem small and the bad things feel tall I feel that way today.

The first blossoms pop on the tree branches - pinks and whites and happiness. Hard work pays off. I'm not the only one that had a hard time on a test. A basketball game goes down to the last second. I have pizza for dinner. The mailman brings more than just bills. I plant the first seed of spring. I think of my mother-in-law. Eric makes a Poppa face. My iPod only plays good songs. Josh laughs. Carly twirls. I wear a sweatshirt that says "Thing One". I sell a bunch of stuff on ebay. I realize how great things really are.

A while back b-happy, a very talented photographer and writer and mom, posed the question "Is it worth it?" and I've been thinking about that off-and-on for a while. Is it worth it? On days like today when I did more yelling than talking? On days like today when I'm trying to write a paper and forgetting to pay attention to my kids? On days like today when my husband is making dinner again, not to mention helping with homework, doing errands, getting children to school on time in the morning with lunch in hand, holding down a full time job, and just generally doing all the things I don't do? Is it worth it? Despite all the yelling, all the frustration, all the dirty floors and bathrooms, all the questions I can't answer, all the moments that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with them, it's totally worth it. I read skimmed an article about a woman who decided she didn't want to be a mom.  After she already popped out two kid

aka Another Helpful List keys tapping   wheels rolling     isolation       over-crowded         intimidation           concentration             people watching               introspection                dead-air time to fill                  papers due               excuse making             confidence building           ego shredding         contradiction       exhilaration     bad-feeling-about-this making   gratification illuminating   down right confusing     overwhelming      back pack toting        laptop dropping          internet surfing           looking forward to Spring Break             faster than breathing               amazing.