This has been the fall of self-doubt. A constant theme in my life, I know.
I started out the semester riddled with all kinds of worries - am I choosing the right path, what will I do with an English degree when I'm done, why are books more expensive than groceries for a month, what if I fail, what if this class is too hard, and on and on. To add to this pile of worry, Eric moved to a new position at work and part of the new job is travel. He's going to be gone most of October, a little of November, and a little of December. Plus he'll be traveling at least once a quarter from here on out. Juggling school and children and their school and football and homework and their homework and church and cleaning house and cooking and life in general - well, I'm not used to being so alone in my own house. Oh, I've taken the kids on vacation alone. A couple summers ago we even left Eric behind for over a month as we drove cross country. But, that wasn't regular life.
Regular life is harder.
Anyhow, I've strayed from my intended path.
So, here's me. Overwhelmed, scared, lacking confidence. And here's my new English professor. A little bit crazy, about five feet tall, and a complete surprise. She's kind of old, though not ancient. But she bubbles. She is constantly laughing, usually alone, at something. She likes to start her lectures early and she follows a written, timed schedule. She made us act out scenes from a play.
I won't lie, I was off-put.
But, she hasn't given us any tests (yet, we have some coming). We've only had to write one paper so far (amazing for a higher level English class). And I've come to respect her constant joy. I've started to enjoy her refreshing simplicity.
So what if nobody laughs with you.
Today in class she showed, for reasons I have trouble comprehending, this video. And it's pretty dang funny.
She's growing on me.