Monday, May 6

Finishing

My final writing prompt for my Creative Writing Degree.  It's nice to end on a fun note.


5 Star Review!
            My life has been forever and irrevocably changed by the amazing T-376 Commuter's Helmet from Narco Leptic Industries.  Never before and never again have I owed such a debt of gratitude to a five pound yellow gadget from Japan.
            My husband, Hal, was born with an unfortunate and debilitating disease.  While this disease has not yet been identified by the scientific community at large (the bastards), I am confident that someday a cure will be found and he will finally be able to live a normal life.  Until then, he is forced to suffer through the pain and humiliation of his condition.  We did not discover this terrible affliction until after our first son, Hal Jr. I, was born.  Soon after our beautiful child's birth, right around the day Hal Jr. I began to walk (two months early, the boy is a gifted and talented athlete, mark my words), Hal Sr. began to suffer from unexpected bouts of narcolepsy.  He would fall asleep at the most inopportune times.  My Aunt Patty's funeral.  My mother's 60th birthday extravaganza (which I planned myself.  It was a beautiful day.  Family flew in from all over the country - all over the world if you include cousin Connie from Canada.  There were live doves and an ice sculpture of my mother's bust.  The band was divine and the food came from a renowned catering company in upstate New York, Verma's.  I'm still getting thank you notes from the guests.)  He even fell asleep once while we were watching Nicholas Spark's epic movie, A Walk to Remember.  His kleptonarctic bouts seemed to be intensified by particular brands of beer.  Bud Light didn't seem to affect him too much (he didn't like the taste anyhow and dumped a bunch of it into my flower garden before I realized what was happening.  Poor begonias), but Guinness Stout knocked him right out.  His symptoms seemed to be even worse in the afternoons when Hal Jr. I liked to be at the park.  Hal Sr. would just drop off right in the middle of anything and I'd have to take Hal Jr. I alone. The only time he didn't really seem to have a problem was in the evenings after watching Game of Thrones.  He had plenty of energy then, if you know what I mean. 
            Well, after about a year of this, I began to get really desperate.  Poor Hal Sr. was just so miserable.  His afternoon naps stretched on and on and I was worried he might fall asleep at the office.  We certainly couldn't afford for him to get fired.  I mean, I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) and I can't imagine parting from my little cootchy-coo.  One day while I was surfing the internet and Hal Jr. I was playing Jeopardy on his iPad, I came across this product.  It was like fireworks went off in my brain.  Finally!  Hal Sr. could nap and still be part of the family!  He could use this handy invention at work, too!  As long as his desk was facing away from the door, it would look like he was awake and working hard!  Of course, it is a little odd that the  T-376 Commuter's Helmet from Narco Leptic Industries resembles a construction helmet.  But some double stick tape and scrapbooking paper I had leftover from Hal Jr. I's baby album fixed that right up.  Now Hal Sr. has a stylish and functional treatment for his unfortunate condition.  Thank you T-376 Commuter's Helmet from Narco Leptic Industries!  You've changed our lives!


(Here's the link the real helmet that inspired my fictional review http://tech.ca.msn.com/holiday-guide/photogallery.aspx?cp-documentid=26213455&page=7 )

1 comment:

Karisa said...

Hey, congratulations on finishing!!! That is so amazing, I can only dream about it!