It feels like...

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Having an (almost) teenage daughter can be...quite an experience. 

"I hope you have a kid just like you," so the saying goes.  Usually, you only hear this if you're a rough kid.  I was a rough kid - in some ways.  I gave my mom a pretty hard time.  And, if she wished for a kid that was 'just like me' to come along as payback - the parent gods smiled on that wish.

Today (after a pretty tragical and frustrating encounter) Carly said: I just needed to get mad at somebody.  I don't know why.

Well, if that doesn't sum up teenage angst, I don't know what does.

It also kind of applies to adult angst.  Some days I just want to be mad at somebody and walk around stomping my feet.  Today I felt like that.  In between good things, though, so at least there's balance.

And balance is tricky this days, too.

It feels like the house is a wreck (it mostly isn't, but sort of is).

It feels like I'm swimming in work and can't catch up (this one is very true).

It feels like for every step forward I take, I take 5 steps back - whether that's financial or career-wise or just as myself.

It feels like I'll never find that writing spark again.  I let it go out - that makes me unbearably sad.

It feels like Josh has been in Idaho forever, but it's not quite a year.  (I try not to think about how much harder it will be when he moves away from home for reals.  Oy.)

It feels like I need a vacation, a lottery ticket, a good soft bed, a novel to read, a strong drink (even though I don't drink), a distraction, a good song, a moment alone...

The list goes on.

It feels like I'm missing something buried somewhere in all this noise of living.

Let me know if you stumble upon it, I could use a clue.

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