These are the days of

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I'm hoping these are the days of
I still can be
It's not too late
It isn't over until it's over.

Because I still want to.

My life is so consumed right now with other things.  Important things, but other. 
Other overwhelming things that taste like fear and feel like failure.

They scare me.

Maybe I'm just not being deliberate enough.  I've been using that word at work a lot. 
But I seem to leave it in the doorway and never bring it home.

The cliche is that I'm standing at a crossroads.
It's much more accurate to say that I am standing in the center of a compass and the needle is spinning. 

It's probably true that the direction won't matter, the way it's pointing won't matter.  It will only matter that it IS pointing and I am following that path.

That scares me too.  I am a person who likes direction.  I want to see the outcome and figure out my way to it. 

Right now, I can't see anything.

I suppose, though, that I might as well fumble my way in the dark like I am there on purpose. 

These are the days of rambling thoughts and cryptic explanations and a spinning compass point that nobody will see but me.

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