State of confusion

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If you ask me to describe myself I would likely say I am pleasantly plump. Being honest, I would add that I am slightly more plump and slightly less pleasant. But, I digress.

Today I went to Dairy Queen with Josh, Carly, and Eric's dad. Walking inside, I held the door open for a old and obviously frail woman. Her son, in front of her, turned around to me and said "Jenny Craig is alive and well." In a state of confusion and disbelief...I laughed and smiled. Then, as I sat down with my children to eat my butterscoth dipped vanilla cone the idea that this man was incredibly pompous and cruel grew inside me. I couldn't believe that he would be so bold as to say that to me, a person he had never met, walking into DQ with my kids. And I spent a good deal of time convincing myself that this stranger had no power to hurt me. But in fact, he had wounded me with his callus and off the cuff remark. Honestly, sir, (as if you are reading this) do you think I enjoy being overweight? Well, yes! I rank it right up there with skin cancer! Everyone should try it! And do you think that a few extra pounds insulates me from your unkindness? Makes it ok to be a total jerk, all the while smiling at me like you've just done me a favor? The growing urge to punch the man was somewhat lessened by the realization that I might be overweight, but they don't make diets to fix his S.O.B. complex.

Perhaps I too am being unkind now. I would comfort myself with the idea that I didn't actually approach this man and give him a piece of my mind. The truth is, we all think unkind things. Say unkind things. Do unkind things. The challenge is to cast aside those judgements, those labels, and discover the true being behind them. The challenge is to not let those opinions taint the possibility of a seeing the good in another human being. The challenge is to look past my own hurt and confusion and denial and forget this man's comments. To create a reality in which his comments are either untrue, without worth, or both. Just how I do that is, I suppose, a question life poses for us all - fat, skinny, black, brown, funny, rude, shallow, intellectual...we are more than the simple words that describe us.

Comments

Lacey said…
Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry! It is so difficult to try not to let things get to you. If it makes you feel better, you inspired me to write my own fat story on my blog. Take a look- I was very unhappy. Everyone else I've told have laughed uncontrollably.
9:36 PM
Anonymous said…
The Nerve!!! Some people are just so rude. If I had been you with that comment, I would have given him the cold shoulder and an evil eye. People like that just don't change if they think they're being funny and not jerks!

Don't think this just happens to overweight people. I've always maintained a healthy weight, but in high school I had a guy in my class approach me and tell me that I looked pregnant in the dress I was wearing for the first time. It was my first dress I ever made and I had worked for many hours cutting it out, putting in pleats, sewing, etc. I was so devastated by his comment that since then, I have never sewn clothing for myself!

Colleen
7:43 AM
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