State of Obvious

I inexplicably feel like crying. Although I am proud of the fact that I can use the word 'inexplicably' in a sentence correctly, that doesn't change the fact that I just don't feel well. But I'm not sick . And I have more things to be grateful for than I deserve. Shall I run over the list again? No, I didn't think so. Today, I took a nice long nap with Carly. She woke up first. She is three years old. That means she probably won't stuff small toys in her mouth anymore and choke on them. That means I feel a little more secure about letting her skip around the house while I doze off. Because sometimes, like today, I am just not ready to pull my too-large self out of bed when she is. Today , after my nice long nap and while I was still drifting in and out of slumber, Carly made the house her wonderland of wonderful things. She: - gave herself a dose of cold medicine. (One of the kiddy, melt in your mouth strips.) - used a scoop of foot cream on hersel...

Normally, when I hear people say that being a stay-at-home-mom is hard, I kind of scoff. And snicker. Because it's really not that hard. Most of the time. I mean, you don't have to rush to work. Or deal with strangers. Or report to a boss. You get to set the rules, the schedule, the activities. You get to snuggle when you're sad. Choose outfits. Experiment in the kitchen. Nap. You get to see their little faces change, grow, learn, modify, experience, and love. It's pretty great. Most of the time . Then you have those days . You have to rush to get kids to school/sports/activities/friends houses. You are the chief car operating officer after all. Sometimes your kids are strangers, odd little beings that defy every personality trait they've ever displayed. Your boss is yourself, and you are your worst critic. And then sometimes you wish, oh so hard , for a boss to swoop in and rescue you because you are doing a terrible terrible terrible job. You get to set th...

I've been trying to think of stuff to say.  Stuff that might be interesting, or at the very least non-coma inducing.   Trouble is, there is not much to say.  I mean you've all heard about the  new house  (which occupies pretty much every thought I have these days outside of the basic needs of existence).  You've all heard about  adoption , and  ADD , and  napping .  My brother Ben thinks I am so under stimulated that all I do is nap. I don't only nap Ben, I blog too.  Sometimes.   So there . I've tried to be  funny .  I've been seriously  self centered  and  depressed .  I've been  mad  and  sad .  I am sure, at this point, a good portion of my faithful few readers have stopped reading.  I guess that makes them just few readers and no longer faithful.  How unfortunate for me. So, in order to create a more perfect blog that you might care about I give you pictures.  AKA the lazy woman's way of posting when she has nothing to say. I know, I know, I better ...

It is a crazy world we are living in.  What, with Octo-Mom and bank bailouts and jobs shriveling up like grass in the summer sun.   Crazy. But, you know what I think?   It's not so bad. Sure, we've got crime and pollution.  We've got recession  (teetering more towards depression) , we've got 100s of channels playing non stop so that you can get your smut 24/7.   But , we've also go new and exciting technologies.  Little bits of data that can send my thoughts halfway around the world while I am still thinking them.  Cameras that document the growth spurts and slumps of my kids.  It's not so bad.   I've got these two lovely leeches that suck all my love right out, that fight over who gets to sit on the closest stool while we make cookies, that tumble over each other on the couch while we tell scripture stories.  We started this new thing, too, where we each take a turn telling everyone else at least one thing they did that day that we appreciated.   Tonight Jo...

At home ...I would be grateful for this almost-sleeping-in time, I would have managed to keep Carly in bed until almost 10 a.m. But here it is not even the crack of 8. ...I would be pouring cereal from a box and adding milk instead of feeding Carly the chocolate bar that was on the nightstand to try and contain her for the other still sleeping people. ...I would be peeking in to see the top of Josh's head beneath his burrito-shell of blankets instead of wondering if he is awake over at Grandma's house. ...I would be ignoring the cleaning that needs done in favor of blogging. Here I am looking at the unmade bed and thinking I should make it as soon as I'm done blogging. ...I would be longing for a blue sky (it must exist behind the perpetual gray of MI winter) but here I can look out the window and see the sun behind some fluffy silver clouds and just a taste of blue-to-come peeking through. ...I would be lounging in my pj's til after nap time, but I don't think my f...

...we got to go spend frivolous hours wandering around the Salvation Army and Target. ...we had time to take a long afternoon nap. ...Cha-Cha made cupcakes with the kids while wearing heirloom aprons from my grandparents' house. ...I didn't have to think about real life worries. And those are wonderful things.

So Josh has a D in science, officially. On his progress report. I think 4 hairs just spontaneously turned gray. It has come to the point that Eric and I are seriously considering homeschool. That's right, I am on the verge of weirdifying my kid. I, like 90% of the people I know, look at homeschoolers as weird. The media portrays homeschooling families as conservative, wildly Christian, dress-wearing, socially repressed weirdos. One of my good friends homeschooled her kids and her kids were actually pretty much normal. But, that wasn't enough to break my thinking out of the stereotype. I have a few concerns. Obviously. 1. Josh is a loner, by nature. A content, normal, sweet, empathetic introvert. I personally don't see anything wrong with that. He's affectionate and kind, respectful (most of the time!) and completely family centered. But, he doesn't play with other kids at recess. He doesn't have any close friends. He enjoys the company of other kids...

I am sitting in my kitchen browsing other blogs. This is by turns dangerous* and fascinating. I find that I can't help comparing myself to those girls out there that have all the qualities I don't have. And I started making a little list inside my brain that goes something like this: I wish I was that girl that is in bed on time and up early, making breakfast for her kids. I wish I was that girl that still looks like she never had kids. I wish I was that girl that never gains an ounce. I wish I was that girl that LIKES to run, ride her bike, swim, climb things, or jump in the pool. I wish I was that girl that has a million friends commenting on her blog. I wish I was that girl that finds time to make cards, write letters, and still keep the house clean. I wish I was that girl that works out of the home and enjoys it. I wish I was that girl that goes to concerts, knows about art, and can recite words from a play off the top of her head. I wish I was that girl that makes Dr. a...

So today I spent my day in a very perfect way. Oh hey, that rhymes! I spent the day at my friend Amy's house. First, let me tell you about Amy's house. Amy lives in a very large, very lovely house. Amy has great taste, there is not a room in that house that doesn't make you feel happy. Her family room is yellow with hints of chocolate. She has a large leather sectional that could probably sit most of Rhode Island comfortably. I Other than sitting on the couch, I got to spend the day holding Amy's brand new baby boy. It was loverly. He's the cutest little bundle of old man face you ever saw (just like most babies are) with wide blue eyes and feather soft reddish hair. I feel so lucky that she trusted me enough to care for her baby boy. So, in honor of the perfect baby Andrew, I give you four reasons I love service today. 1. Service is selfish. I mean, you give to help others and end up helping yourself. I didn't have time to focus on MY house, MY move, MY proble...

1. I secretly enjoy Carly's Afro. Until junk off the ground starts sticking to it. (She's a tumbler, that one.) 2. I started freelance writing for a local paper. I am afraid I'm going to get fired at any moment and I've only written one story so far. 3. I really don't like drinking water. 4. I've taken up painting. So far I've painted two pictures I mostly like, 1 I half don't like, and 2 I've scrapped. Move over, Picasso. 5. Today it is snowing, sunny, sleeting, sunny and windy here (by turns). 6. I have a pathetic addiction to Cafe World on Facebook (which reminds me, I think my tacos are done...I totally just hit level 41, woot!) 7. I am still in my pjs. In my defense, Carly did not go to school today (thank you again, parents of sick child) and I am doing laundry so I don't have much to choose from clothing wise yet. 8. I swept and mopped most of the house. The dog tracked muddy prints all across the clean floor. ...

My final writing prompt for my Creative Writing Degree.  It's nice to end on a fun note. 5 Star Review!             My life has been forever and irrevocably changed by the amazing T-376 Commuter's Helmet from Narco Leptic Industries.  Never before and never again have I owed such a debt of gratitude to a five pound yellow gadget from Japan.             My husband, Hal, was born with an unfortunate and debilitating disease.  While this disease has not yet been identified by the scientific community at large (the bastards), I am confident that someday a cure will be found and he will finally be able to live a normal life.  Until then, he is forced to suffer through the pain and humiliation of his condition.  We did not discover this terrible affliction until after our first son, Hal Jr. I, was born.  Soon after our beautiful child's birth, rig...

"Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice." I'll admit that I don't sail through life thinking, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?”  It's more like "If the kids eat dinner right now, it's only two more hours 'til bed.  And we haven't done homework yet.  Oh, look at their rooms.  Oh, look at the laundry.  Oh, I forgot to ___________!"  The whirling dervish of life is my most constant companion.  It leaves me tired, frustrated, and lonely.  It's so much easier to focus on the essential non-essentials.  I don't think this is very different from most people I know.  It's extremely easy to get caught up in life, all the while forgetting to really live.  Forgetting to stop, to smile, to laugh, to dance.  Forgetting to put down the camera and watch the moments.  Forgetting to stop reading books, to read faces instead.  Forgetting to stop connecting online...

First, a correction: Last week I listed the Just for Me hair relaxer as a product I purchased but that was false. Michelle, goddess of all things related to Carly's hair, actually bought it and applied it. Now that we cleared that up, this week's 4fer. Four things about a new school year that are both good and bad: 1. Waking up early - I hate waking up early, so does Joshua. Dragging Josh out of bed during the school year is basically like trying to move a large boulder up hill. At the end you are sweaty and mad and you just want to sit down. On the up side, Carly and I can now take a mid morning nap without the sound of Joshua's elephantine pitter-patter. 2. Shopping for new school clothes and supplies - I take particular joy in school supply shopping. Growing up, my parents were raising 4 kids on a small budget. Sometimes my dad was in school himself, sometimes we had just moved, most of the time it was just a matter of making do with what we had. I understand ...

WARNING! This may seem preachy... Tonight when we were out at dinner I overheard a woman talking to what I assume are her parents about a class she is taking. She was saying that they read from an old book about what a wife should do for her husband when he gets home: tie a ribbon in your hair, turn down household noises, make the house comfortable because he probably had a harder day then you, etc. All those typical 1950s sitcom housewifey things. She was laughing because when the teacher asked the class if they wanted to be that kind of wife only 1 person raised their hand. It just made me wonder...at what point did we, as women, decide that we couldn't play the role of the housewife? What's so wrong with it? By no means am I the perfect housewife, far from it. I'm pretty lazy on the whole. I expect (and like it) Eric to do the dishes. I am really bad at laundry. I don't like cooking. However, I love being at home when my son is done with school. I love putting my dau...

"It's dangerous to take a nap." "I'm going to name myself Doodle." "Josh! Dude! You are too freakin big for that!"

Four ways to spend your down time, assuming you have some. (If you don't have some, you should make some. Seriously, stuff can wait .) 1. Save the bunny! 2. Shopping for the person that has everything. 3. Shopping for handcrafted items, if you're willing to wade. 4. Go take a nap. That's what I'm going to do, because apparently it's time. At least that is what I take Carly's tantrum to mean. p.s. for Tricia - making a strikethrough is pretty easy. Using where I have { }, insert {s} before the text you want to strike and {/s} at the end of the text you are crossing out.

I definitely did not fall asleep while Carly was at school. I didn't pick her up 5 minutes late either, after all the kids were gone. I certainly didn't hear her teacher ask "Where is your mom?" and her little voice didn't answer "I don't know!" I didn't drive into town on a whim to buy scrapbook tape. After picking up the scrapbook tape, I naturally did not browse the clearance paper section and buy way too much cute CUTE paper. And there wasn't paper for Christmas cards that I adored. Nope not at all. I didn't buy that adorable Christmas paper, not 20 sheets of it either for 35 cents each. I didn't indulge in a bag of Frito's with my lunch. And I also didn't let Eric finish all the laundry on his own. What kind of housewife would let her hardworking husband do ALL the work? I didn't cringe when I saw a new picture of me posted on Facebook . I didn't almost untag it. Almost. I really did not get an email from Josh...

Last night I had a dream about my Grandparent's house.  But it wasn't really their house, it was missing all the beauty and grace of my Grandmother's touch.  And the layout was all wrong.  In dreams, though, things don't have to work right.  It was my Grandparent's house and you were there, you were taking a nap.   Thank you, Dad, for making me love naps.   On Saturday we were driving around north of our house looking at houses.  We got our car stuck in the mud because apparently our SUV is lacking in the utility and sport departments.  We had to call Uncle Heezy (Scott) to come and yank us out with a chain.  This was not for lack of trying to wiggle out on our part.  We also saw a radio tower, as in ham radio, and Eric said "Hey, your Dad would like it up here because there's a radio tower."  And I laughed. Thank you, Dad, for teaching me to notice things besides my own problems and then to laugh. I appreciate other things you've given me, althoug...

Imagine my surprise when I glance at the comments for my last blog entry and see a comment from my dad. This is the dad that loves his routine, that won't buy you a Christmas present if he can't find it all Walgreens, who calls Eric to tease him about Penn State even on days they win, who stays up all night worrying about his kids and calls to make sure that no we really don't let Josh play in the dryer - it WAS just that once, the dad who calls my mom when she's visiting here to ask how to use the washing machine. My dad doesn't leave blogger comments, but he did! A few simple words from my dad and I'm all full of the warm fuzzies. And yes, I even laughed out loud with sheer, absolute delight and amusement. A few other things that bring me absolute delight, on a recent scale: ~ Hanging Christmas decorations on my tree that look like some my grandmother always had on hers. (Decorations made of straw that made Eric raise his eyebrows - "you want those ?...

Today is the big day, the day when I roll over from 31 ( just barely old) to 32 (aka old and can't deny it) . The funny thing is, I don't feel 32. I feel just like I did at 22, just maybe a little less scared. There are a few gray hairs tucked in the brown, there are a few wrinkles under the chubbiness of my 'baby face'. I can't say that I'm feeling the aches and pains of a body weighed down by years. I don't. Except perhaps my ankles which are stiff in the mornings from my bad habit of tripping on my own feet . The march of years is fairly kind to us, I think. We feel the same though our bodies keep climbing that mortal hill. Today I'm going to celebrate being alive . I'm going to eat good food, share good company, laugh while I tickle my kids. I'm going to take a long nap (hopefully) and just be glad for one more day, one more week, one more month, one more year. Oh, and I'm going to sport this super cute and sassy hair cut curteousy of ...