shoe - noun, plural shoes, shoon; verb, shod or shoed, shod or shoed or shod·den, shoe·ing.
I'm sorry, Eric. I have a new love. I think you might have suspected there was something going on. It's not you, it's me. If it makes things better, I promise it is purely a physical relationship. When we met in the store for the first time, I couldn't help myself. "Hello darling, you are coming home with me," I said. There is room for all of us, although I don't plan to share. I hope you won't mind if their lovely leather smell fills up our bedroom. It can't be that much worse than the...ahem... other smells I encounter from time to time.